Fedor Emelianenko and Vadim Finkelchtein: Total F*cking Retards

ByDavid Wray


(“Don’t worry, Fedor, there will be other offers. Say, would you like to open for a puppet show in Stockton this weekend?” Photo courtesy of 5oz.)

You gotta be kidding me with this s**t. According to Carmichael Dave (via Bloody Elbow), here’s what the UFC was offering Fedor to sign with them:

– The UFC offered Fedor a 6 fight, 30 million dollar contract. That’s 5 mil a fight
– The UFC offered Fedor an immediate title shot
– Lesnar/Fedor would be the biggest PPV in MMA history (we assume), and the UFC offered M-1 Global a cut of the PPV on top of Fedor’s purse.
– Fedor was free to wear as many M-1 logoed items as he wished.
– The UFC also relented on allowing Fedor to compete in combat sambo.
Apparently, for good or bad, M-1 refuses to sign a deal unless the UFC agrees to co-promote.

In other words, the UFC would give him an unprecedented amount of money — much more than he’s worth, actually, in terms of his proven pay-per-view drawing power in the U.S. — and were actually going to bite the bullet on the combat sambo thing, which was a sticking point in their previous negotiations. On top of the millions they’d pay Fedor, M-1 Global would directly receive an additional windfall in the form of points on the PPV, and Fedor could come out wearing an M-1 jumpsuit, while Aleks and Kirill drape an M-1 banner over the cage. And the crazy Russians still wouldn’t accept, because they wanted their logo prominently featured in the broadcast, and they wanted to hear Mike Goldberg say their name.

That’s called “hardball,” people. More accurately, it’s called “hardballing your way out of the best offer you will ever receive in your life.” We can only hope that when Fedor flies back to Russia, his wife will clock the s**t out of him with a rolling pin for leaving so much money on the table, and demand that he sign with the UFC. For God’s sake, he could buy Neverland with that kind of money. Think about it man: Your own amusement park, and only you decide who gets to ride the roller-coaster. Isn’t that what we’ve all dreamed about?