Jenna Jameson Gives Birth to Twin Boys With Tito Ortiz

Porn actress Jenna Jameson gave birth to twin boys in Newport Beach, California today, ensuring that Tito Ortiz’s genetic line will march proudly on into the future. If you’re like me, you are now imagining two infants with gigantic heads like their father and vacant, surgically weirded-out eyes like their mother. Adorable.

We already hypothesized that any children to come out of the unholy Ortiz-Jameson union would have the potential to be serious bad-asses, since their father is a world famous fighter and their mother is a world famous fornicator. You just have to imagine that some fights will erupt on the playground once the other kids know enough to make fun of this unique parentage. I mean, I grew up with a kid whose mom was the school lunch lady and he had to defend her honor on more than one occasion.

Now imagine if instead of serving up soggy tater tots in a hair net, your mom was blowing dudes while a midget watched, and the video was readily available on the internet.

But with twin boys we almost can’t help but imagine a Matt Hughes kind of situation, where they grow up so intensely competitive that one of them is forced to become great while the other…often gets mistaken for his brother while walking though the mall.

Or maybe they’ll both become world-class fighters, rising to the top of the futuristic cyborg UFC to take revenge on the brain of Dana White (now encased in a glass bubble on a giant, many-tentacled robot) for his many slights against their parents.

Hopefully Tito is still around to put his skills as a commentator to use during is sons' matches. Now that would be magical.