Real-Life Action Hero Renzo Gracie Live-Tweets His Own Attempted Mugging [WTF AWESOME]
(Somewhere in Manhattan, there’s a dumb bastard with the phrase “IFL Pitbulls” reverse-imprinted in his forehead.)
Late last night in New York, legendary fighter/trainer Renzo Gracie was accosted by two men with obvious bad intentions. And since Renzo is one of the gamest S.O.B.s of all time, he wound up beating the s**t out of them. Actually, let me re-phrase that: He beat the s**t out of one of them, tracked down mugger #2 after he went running off into the night, “raccooned” mugger #2 (explanation below), and tweeted out a live play-by-play of the whole experience including photos. Are you kidding me? Renzo Gracie is like a prime Steven Seagal with an iPhone.
Now, did all this really happen, or was this entire situation just a staged social media infomercial for Gracie Jiu-Jitsu? I don’t know. But I want to believe. Here’s the entire story, from beginning to end, as taken from @RenzoGracieBJJ:
3:11 AM: 22nd street and 10th ave right now two guys following me, can’t help but have a big smile upon my face Im talking about a happy one )))
3:12 AM: Waiting for them… Are they really thinking I’m drunk??? They have to be kidding. Hahahaha
3:13 AM: 25th and 10ave they are getting closer lol
3:16 AM: I just stop to take a pic, they pretend they are looking at the window, can’t lie… My blood runs in a different speed, man I miss Brazil
3:17 AM: JiuJitsu )) never leave home without it
3:18 AM: Please hold there for just a couple minutes be right back
3:23 AM: They are coming closer, asking for a cigaret lol can’t help but have a smile in my face. I don’t smoke. Pretend to wobble. They smile
hands hurt Can’t help
3:47 AM: My hands hurt… Can’t help but look at him the other one took off running, not much of a friend. Chicken :-/ I can still see him, he looks
3:49 AM: Back as he runs, no chance to catch him… Even though I began to try to run after him, I realize How slow I was. f**k it :-///
3:53 AM: This one asks me why did I do that, pretending to be stupid, one little kick to the ribs makes him whine and apologize, as I’m writing this.
ask him planing rob
3:55 AM: I ask him if he was planing to rob me, he says no. All he wanted was a cigarette, lol I can’t help but have a big smile upon my face, and ..
3:57 AM: The certainty that if it was an ordinary man he would be sad about his stolen goods. f**king cunt cries like a bitch when the tide turns…
3:58 AM: I can’t help but take a pic as his nose bleeds and he wines and asks why did I do that… Like he doesn’t know the reason…
3:59 AM: My f**king hands hurt, hurt like hell…
4:06 AM: Drove around two blocks… The other fellow disappear, I’m heading home… Angry for not finding the second one. Guess no sleeping tonight
4:26 AM: I knew it yessss
4:59 AM: There is basic things like you don’t come back to where the problem was.. You just don’t, I knew he would, just going around the block would
5:01 AM: Be enough… Dumb f%#^ I just gave him the old style Raccoon, it has been a while since the last time I did.. Choke him out 3 times…
5:03 AM: And before he woke up I did hit each eye socket at least twice, tomorrow he will wake up like a raccoon, and every time he woke up I was…
5:06 AM: Whispering at his ears.. That’s what death feels like it.. Don’t do that again. My f**king hand hurts, :-/ a lot
5:08 AM: Next time I will use only the elbows, damn I miss that feeling, sometimes I wonder if the easy life has been making me
5:09 AM: Soft.. All those years in Brazil, without knowing if I would make it home had to count for something, I can’t lie I could have jump in a cab
5:11 AM: But I could not help, I could spot them from a mile away, walking was my option, thank you mayor Giuliani, nobody carries a gun in our…
5:14 AM: Beautiful state, my lucky day, their bad day… My hand hurts and @FrankieEdgar is here at 9:30am for some training, shoot damn little guy
5:16 AM: Could not take a second pic guys sorry, believe I try, as I reach for my iPhone he almost took off :-/ fast mofo