The First SFW Trailer for Ronda ArouseMe: Grounded and Pounded Has Arrived
Having just finished watching the first trailer for Burning Angel’s much talked-about Ronda Rousey p*rn parody, Ronda ArouseMe: Grounded and Pounded, I am irate, Nation. Not because it contains absolutely zero nudity, and not because of any personal bias I have against star Kleio Valentien since she slapped that restraining order on me, but because my long and detailed list of spot-on casting suggestions for the project was completely, inexplicably ignored.
It’s as if ArouseMe director Joanna Angel didn’t appreciate or even take notice of the countless hours I clearly spent researching and drafting up that list, requiring no less than three recuperative naps in the process. Did they think I was only after a few extra clicks on a once mid-tier MMA blog, and not auditioning for a position in the multi-billion dollar industry that is p*rn casting? This was supposed to be *my* moment, god dammit! This was my chance to be a somebody!! (*kicks can*)
Ronda ArouseMe regardless of the fact that it
All that said, I’m sure there are a handful of you who’d still like to see the trailer for Ronda ArouseMe regardless of the fact that it took a steaming dump on my dreams, so check it out after the jump.
What, no Bangya Right? No Huge-O Peen LeSwell? Is the Burning Angel Sports Network even a thing? I WANT JUSTICE!!
(Breathe, Jared. Do as Dr. Fontanelle said and just. breathe.)
In the interest of fairness, I will say the trailer did manage to get a couple chuckles out of me — that line about Vin Diesel, especially. The ringside announcing duo of Angel and Small Hands are truly the Pepper and Cotton (or at least the Pepperfield and Redwood) of the p*rn world. I also appreciate that the entirety of the film appears to have been shot in a dank, humid chop shop, which in today’s age of big-budget, CGI-ridden pornos, is truly a breath of fresh air. (Not literally, of course.)
Break out your credit cards and order your three day limited trials ASAP, Tater Nation, because Ronda ArouseMe: Grounded and Pounded premieres tonight on BurningAngel.com.