M-1’s Jerry Millen Mixes Terrible Metaphors with Nonsensical Reasoning, Arrives at Predictable Conclusion
(Okay, someone give him a place, an occupation, and an object and we’ll see if he can spin it into a batshit insane analogy before our very eyes.)
So it’s Friday and you’re probably thinking to yourself, ‘What would really help me slide on in to the weekend is to sit back, undo that top button, and just unwind with an absolutely idiotic justification of M-1 Global’s recent chicanery, put forth by one of the sleaziest, least sincere people on their payroll.’ Well, you’re in luck. M-1 Global’s Jerry Millen recently sat down for an interview and, as usual, his arguments and reasoning were so ridiculous that they could almost be considered performance art.
For instance, permit him to put this whole Fedor/M-1/UFC mess in perspective with a sports analogy that makes no sense at all:
“The closest thing to it, you’ve got a basketball and you’re at a basketball court — and I know this sounds silly, but you go to the basketball court with your basketball,” Millen tells FanHouse. “And there’s a guy there with a pocketful of money and goes ‘Hey man, I’m going to buy your ball and you’re going to sit in the bench and watch me play ball with your ball.’ To me that’s a sell-out.”
Where to begin…
Okay, in Millen’s analogy M-1 Global is the principal actor and Fedor is, well, the ball. He’s an object that you play with, not a sentient being, not something that is of value for its own sake, but rather something that can be used for a desired end. Actually, now that I think about it that’s probably exactly how Jerry Millen views Fedor, so it works on that level. On every other level is where it fails.
Here’s a better Fedor/basketball analogy, just for fun: Some awesome Russian basketball player owns a partial stake in a small basketball league that very few people give a damn about. An NBA team wants to sign this dude because, despite his unimpressive physique and love of ice cream, he may be one of the greatest players ever. He says he’ll sign, but only if his league gets to plaster their logos all over the arena and share in the profits of any NBA game he plays in. Much laughter follows, then silence, then a lone voice asks, ‘Wait, were you being serious just now?’
It’s still a flawed analogy, as anything that compares other, more traditional league sports to MMA is always going to be, but you get the point. You know who doesn’t? Jerry Millen. He insists that asking for the UFC to “co-promote” with M-1 Global is simply asking for “equal terms,” which just demonstrates that either Millen doesn’t know what the word equal means, or else he’ll say absolutely anything without thinking it through long enough to struggle with internal conflicts.
What M-1 wants isn’t equal. No other UFC fighter gets a co-promotional deal, and for good reason. The UFC doesn’t need any promotional help at this point, certainly not from M-1 Global. There’s nothing equal about one side bringing the marketing machine and established brand name that they’ve spent several years and millions of dollars creating, not to mention the roster of well-known fighters to fill out the rest of the card, while the other side brings one fighter and some logos.
It’s an idiotic argument from the very beginning, which is why it shouldn’t surprise anyone that it’s coming out of Millen’s mouth, where idiotic ideas seem to be constantly jockeying for position with one another. At some point one has to wonder when the good will generally extended to Fedor himself, despite the obvious problems with his management, will finally give way to total frustration at the fact that he allows these people to speak and make decisions for him. Something tells me that day is coming soon, if it’s not already here.